The pen bites back!

Damn you, blog. I started you so I could air out my every petty grievance without social repercussion - and you've failed me!

Honestly, I thought only three or four people actually read you. Maybe therein lies my mistake. I assumed I could use you to express the thoughts that otherwise would have gone unsaid. I liked to think of you as the point where emotions and intellect first collided before they were tempered by conscience, reflection, and time.

I try not to give much thought to readers. It dulls the edge of my observations, wondering who I might offend. Rational thought doesn't typically fuel a creative spark for me, but naked and unchecked emotion does. Letting words pour out, whether they are of unwarranted aggression, inexplicable pain, or searing truth, is cathartic. Giving form to my feelings through language has always been therapeutic for me in the sense that it enables me to analyze them as though they were a solid object, and therefore put them in perspective.

I say all this, blog, in defense of myself because someone was hurt by something (several things, really) I wrote here, and I feel guilty, not for giving voice to how I felt in such a way that proved very unflattering for this person, but for the fact that I'd never intended the blog as a verbal assault and when she read it, it became that. I don't consider myself a malicious person. Anyone who reads you, blog, knows I think and write like a scathing bitch on occasion, but none of it is meant to publicly tear down someone else.

And P.S. - whomever pointed this girl in the direction of my blog, I have to question their intention. Was it merely to stir the pot? To say, look what this bitch said about you? Well, good job. She read it, it upset her very much, and for no reason. I personally never thought my blog would affect her in the slightest. Anyway, I guess you did it out of friendship to her, but my question for you is: if you were so horrified by what I said, why not comment about it? Why not say, "Hey, you're a fucking bitch"? Why surreptitiously read it and then convey it to others?

Why not? Because truly speaking your mind comes with a price that many people are not willing to pay.