Soccer moms

So every time I'm driving behind some SUV with one of those soccerball stickers, I get this uncontrollable wave of dread washing over me. I just don't want to ever be one of them. And it's weird because I vaguely see, in my misty, distant future, being a wife and mom, perhaps. And what if my kid plays soccer and absolutely break-my-heart begs me to put one of those things on my car? I mean, that's a pretty effortless way to make a kid happy, why not? I'd be selfish not to give in! I'd have to counter-balance it with one of those Darwin fish stickers or some other sort of anti-establishment statement, though. Okay, maybe, but I still won't drive an SUV!