Hints for next year's holiday revelries:

1. Stumbling home at 8:30 in the morning from a Christmas party looking like a beat-up whore is generally not desirable, but is allowed at least once per season (check!)
2. Mistletoe can be loads of debauched fun. It is negligible whether or not it should be used as a device to make out with people you've secretly been lusting after (yup..check!)
3. If you've already bought a present for someone, and someone else tells you it's not the right color, size, shape, etc. and you've already thrown away the tag (and wrapped it!), it's permissible to ignore the new (belated) information.
4. There is no need to go to the mall during the month of December. None. It is a vile testament to the baseness of humanity.
5. Passion plays/musicals shall be limited to one per season.
6. It is still not okay to eat a pound of M&M's in one sitting, be they dyed festive Christmas colors or not.
7. May be advisable in the future to keep more liquor or wine around the house (not calorie-soaked beer! no!) for possible bouts of SAD.